Gracefulness Under Pressure

Gracefulness Under Pressure

Pressure, pressure, pressure.  Everyday we are faced with pressure of some type.  This life can be a bit of a race.  I believe our victory is in more than just getting to the finish line.  We are victorious in HOW we get there.  Fight or flight.  Battles come, I can choose to fight through them or run in other directions.  I have done both more times than I can count.  In attempting to mature in life, I am focusing on my approach and response network during high-pressure periods. 

At the point of pressure engagement I can choose grace or disgrace.  For me there is not much middle ground in this.  Although I often fall short during pressure, I want to show and extend gracefulness, not because of me but because of God’s grace towards me.  It covers me. 

I love the word grace because it has so many meanings: simple elegance, refinement, poise, politeness, finesse.  Here is my favorite, in Christianity grace is the unmerited favor of God.  Grace under pressure simply means to remain calm and disciplined when life’s heavy stresses would cause you to unravel. 

Displaying grace under pressure takes courage and is not easy.  To me, having grace under pressure would mean:

• To remain silent when you would rather cuss people out
• To be kind when you have every right to act unseemly
• To try to find more tactful ways to articulate disagreement 
• To find ways to display love when faced with blatant disregard
• To show compassion even to people who seek to destroy your dignity

NONE of this is easy.  This is not in apathy or cowardice.  Knee-jerk reactions are easy, they don’t take much thought.  Being flippant and saying everything that comes to mind is easy, it does not take much self-control.  Pulling back and not saying the first thing you want to takes restraint and mental agility.  I want that gracefulness. 

I want the gracefulness that makes me pray for the people that treat me less than the Queen that I am.  I want the gracefulness that pushes me to be kind, even when I am dealing with people that do not deserve it, by the world’s standards.  I want to show gracefulness, not because of weakness but because of strength.  Gracefulness under pressure, fire and heaviness.  Gracefulness that is not circumstantial or situational.  

A continuous state of gracefulness.

Check the Trigger

Check the Trigger

I recently watched a MadTV parody that made fun of social sensitivity and the overuse of the term “trigger word”.  Although they were being extremely comical about it, it made me think about a few things concerning my own triggers.  As I attempted to do some studying on the term I came across tons of references to triggers connected to traumatic experiences.  I will not focus solely on negative triggers although they tend to get the most focus and the most drastic responses.  Triggers are not all bad.  For instance, the smell of brownies baking can trigger fond memories of your childhood or the smell of freshly cut grass might calm you, or the scent of a particular cologne may make you feel heart warmth.  These are all potentially good triggers.  

In my research, I realized that the term trigger is very far-reaching and broad.  I want to focus on a narrow area of it.  A trigger can be defined as any act or event that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.  Now this is where, to me, there is a fork in the road because that is really an expansive statement.  I simply want to focus on knowing and acknowledging what we CAN control in regards to our triggers.  Ownership. 

I understand that sometimes when triggers are activated it is usually unexpected and feels beyond our control.  That does not give us space to be irrational, unkind, and dismissive or any other negative reaction often justified as response.  We cannot always choose our triggers but we can control our responses.  To change our automatic responses we must first identify them and proactively posture ourselves when they arise.  We need to consistently and aggressively manage our own response network. 

Sometimes we give too much power to the past.  We give too much mental real estate to people and things that are not a part of our now.  We should not be content with reacting to circumstances with old defense mechanisms.  We have to learn to manage through our triggers. 

On the flip-side, sometimes we don’t give enough focus or energy to positive triggers, we don’t explore those constructive internal enablers.  Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.  Examine the motivational triggers, the happy triggers.  I am exploring what triggers spike my ‘good’ responses and proactively trying to be around them more and the negative ones less.  This is taking diligence but feels like it is worth it.  I hope that I am changing my normal for the better.

“Triggers can be like little psychic explosions that crash through avoidance and bring the dissociated, avoided trauma suddenly, unexpectedly, back into consciousness.”
― Carolyn Spring