Today is my actual birthday. I’ve already been writing and sharing, but this is the actual bornday. This is one of my happiest birthdays ever, my 35th. Doing more thinking than usual so I figured I’d share. Again…lol
Last night I was pushing out some ideas in Photoshop at about 12:30a, building on one of my dreams and feeling quite great about it. I realized hey, it’s my birthday. I smiled and said thank You Lord my birthday came while I was working a gift You gave me. That made me feel wonderful. After that I got a text from my crazy brother that said Happy Birthday Lil Old Lady. Made me giggle. I love my family. Got in the bed about 1:30a, which is pretty normal for me.
When I opened my eyes this morning I smiled and said thank You Lord for another year and then I started mapping out my day. Laying there I was thinking about what I want to wear...something complimentary and of course purple. The texts and phone calls from my loved ones started. I’m just grinning and grinning. I love LOVE. Got dressed, put a lil sparkle on my eyes, no foundation, put on my wedges. I looked in the mirror and said…so this is what 35 looks like? My lawd, that's goot! I FEEL MARVELOUS. Walked out the door with my sanctified swaggah on 100+, feeling like I could stop traffic. Got in the car and James Fortune & FIYA was singing “I owe all my worship to You. Lord, I don’t deserve all the things that You do.” And my mind went right there. Cut the radio off and just started praising Him.
Lord I thank You for 35 years of life. You wake me up every single day without fail and without getting tired of doing it. 35 years of Your mercy and grace. 35 years of You giving me good health, strength and healing. 35 years of You never leaving me or forsaking me. I am so grateful. 35 years of You waiting for me to get it right. Your mercy is everlasting. You didn’t get tired of waiting for me to love You the way You created me to. I am just so grateful. You've loved me every single solitary day of my life, unconditionally, even when I didn't love myself so much. I am humbled by Your love.
Happy Birthday to me because of Your love, grace and mercy.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
My Birthday Reflections - 2009
My Birthday Reflections - 2009
On Tuesday I will be the Big 35. Three and one half decades. I’m trying to figure out why so many women dreaded getting to this age. Is this what middle age feels like??? Or is middle age 40? Whatever it is I’m proud of my age. I feel great. I look pretty good, trying to take better care of my bawdee (body said dramatically), eating better, majorly blessed. I was thinking, as usual, about this thing called life and all it’s many moving pieces.
Thinking about the stories my mom told me about when I was born. During pregnancy she fell. Off to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital – Camden NJ. She was about 6 ½ months pregnant with me, I decided I wanted out so I made my first appearance. The doctor told her I probably would not make it through the night. I weighed around 4 pounds. I had jaundice, a liver that was too small and many other medical issues. Medical technology was not what it is now. My mom said that the doctor stayed with me all night and she stayed up praying. I was a survivor then and I still am. God's hand was on me.
35 years later…I gave birth to 4 strong healthy children-by cesarean section at that, lived through many trials and hardships, missed meals, lived on food stamps and welfare, served my country, had many many jobs, lost everything in a flood, lived through domestic abuse, and had many metamorphoses. I AM A SURVIVOR, an over-comer, a conqueror; I have continued to exist in spite of the many adversities that have come in my life.
It seems I have had to fight to live ever since my first breath. Nothing has been given to me easily. I’ve been working since I was 14, a mother since I was 17 and it’s been a serious struggle but I finally got it now. After years of trying to succeed through people and things I know that the only success that I’ll have is through the hands of God. I thought it would be the people I connect to or the things I accumulate or income that would prosper me. These are vehicles but God is the source.
Now at 35 I have many friends and a wonderful family. My kids are the funniest, smartest, greatest children in the world. Even though I have so many people around me, I feel like I’m in an isolation phase. It’s not a bad phase. I know it’s preparation and fine tuning. I talk to God more now than before. I know it’s only temporary. I know it’s making me.
So many thoughts I don’t want to get jumbled or rambled. It’s just me admiring my emotional scenery…lol I am at peace. I want to move forward. I know I am destined to succeed. I am a queen, the beloved child of the King. I have generations coming after me that will need the things that I birth out, the strength I instill, the things I will produce.
On Tuesday I will be the Big 35. Three and one half decades. I’m trying to figure out why so many women dreaded getting to this age. Is this what middle age feels like??? Or is middle age 40? Whatever it is I’m proud of my age. I feel great. I look pretty good, trying to take better care of my bawdee (body said dramatically), eating better, majorly blessed. I was thinking, as usual, about this thing called life and all it’s many moving pieces.
Thinking about the stories my mom told me about when I was born. During pregnancy she fell. Off to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital – Camden NJ. She was about 6 ½ months pregnant with me, I decided I wanted out so I made my first appearance. The doctor told her I probably would not make it through the night. I weighed around 4 pounds. I had jaundice, a liver that was too small and many other medical issues. Medical technology was not what it is now. My mom said that the doctor stayed with me all night and she stayed up praying. I was a survivor then and I still am. God's hand was on me.
35 years later…I gave birth to 4 strong healthy children-by cesarean section at that, lived through many trials and hardships, missed meals, lived on food stamps and welfare, served my country, had many many jobs, lost everything in a flood, lived through domestic abuse, and had many metamorphoses. I AM A SURVIVOR, an over-comer, a conqueror; I have continued to exist in spite of the many adversities that have come in my life.
It seems I have had to fight to live ever since my first breath. Nothing has been given to me easily. I’ve been working since I was 14, a mother since I was 17 and it’s been a serious struggle but I finally got it now. After years of trying to succeed through people and things I know that the only success that I’ll have is through the hands of God. I thought it would be the people I connect to or the things I accumulate or income that would prosper me. These are vehicles but God is the source.
Now at 35 I have many friends and a wonderful family. My kids are the funniest, smartest, greatest children in the world. Even though I have so many people around me, I feel like I’m in an isolation phase. It’s not a bad phase. I know it’s preparation and fine tuning. I talk to God more now than before. I know it’s only temporary. I know it’s making me.
So many thoughts I don’t want to get jumbled or rambled. It’s just me admiring my emotional scenery…lol I am at peace. I want to move forward. I know I am destined to succeed. I am a queen, the beloved child of the King. I have generations coming after me that will need the things that I birth out, the strength I instill, the things I will produce.
I am so excited about what God has for me next, in this 35th year because I have grown from faith to trust. I trust Him and life is moving into the realm of where He created me to be. It’s on me and I’m on it....Happy Birthday To Me.
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