Personal Evolution
Life
is interesting. Oftentimes I come across
something that I wrote years ago and do a retrospective / introspective review. I think about where I was at the time, physically,
mentally, economically, emotionally. I
think about who I interacted with closely, who I may have been involved with
romantically. I think about where I was,
how I lived at the time. I take an
overall look at WHO I was. Sometimes this is fun, other times painful. I have gone
through so many stages in life that I can only see it as an evolution.
I
identified some of my stages as platforms to actual change,
not just phases or levels. Some of these
touchpoints were catalysts to major shifts in full thought processes. For instance, I can remember when I realized
how different I was. That realization changed my posture in being different. It was in Hatch Middle School, Ms. Betts’
Spanish class, 7th Grade. I recognized
that I was not only physically different, but the way that I thought was atypical. I did not respond to things the way everyone
else did. Initially I thought that I was
just a weirdo, sometimes punkish, soft, and sensitive but I realized years
later that it was my heart that made me that way.
Instead
of running from my weirdness, I decided to migrate to it. I never wanted to be like anyone else so I started to do things to purposely set myself apart. I wore mismatched socks. If I found out someone wore the same perfume,
I stopped wearing it (I still do this).
In High school, I parted my hair straight down the middle and dyed one
side blond, the other side jet black. I
was unique, odd, sometimes weird, but always me. I did not do what the world wanted me to do, conform;
I embraced being uncommon and went down my own path. Acknowledging that I have my own path also helped me to respect the path of others without competing but that is a different blog post altogether.
I
am certain that my stubbornness played a great part in my finding my own
lane. I never really cared what everyone
else wanted or liked. I always got
excited if I found that someone had a commonality but I never swayed from what
I liked. I see now, that was an admirable
quality for a teenager. It always took a
lot to get me to change my view on something.
I am still like this; it is a blessing and curse. It doesn’t matter if anyone else on earth likes it,
if I like it… I like it, end of story. This
is another reason why I love weird and abstract people. They do not care what everyone else is doing
or what other people think. I am always
interested in anomalous thought process.
Here
are some takeaways I gathered in taking the scenic route through my own personal
evolution:
1. Celebrate
your evolution. Clap for your own growth. No one knows what it takes every day to be
you. Rejoice in the beauty of being who you
are. Give yourself a cookie for those
internal, self-driven accomplishments and realizations.
2. Take
time to evaluate your stages and changes. Our experiences and
our responses to them make us who we are.
Being retrospective is one of the greatest tools in my life box. I like to look deeper at what made me do
things so that I can avoid or gravitate to what I need to in the future. Am I great at it? Not yet, but I will be. J
3. Never
let people dictate your stages.
Once you let other people control your
stages, you make them your god. Every
single person needs to walk out his or her own life steps. No one can live for me and I cannot live for anyone
else so why would I let someone else direct my journey?
4. Do
not discount your phases. Do
not go through your levels begrudgingly, embrace them, take what you need
from them, eat the fish and spit out the bone.
Go through life present and alert so that you can get the tools you need to be who you need to be and contribute what you need to. Don't expect perfection from yourself or anyone else. We are all evolving. – Catherine Elizabeth
