My Birthday Reflections - 2009
On Tuesday I will be the Big 35. Three and one half decades. I’m trying to figure out why so many women dreaded getting to this age. Is this what middle age feels like??? Or is middle age 40? Whatever it is I’m proud of my age. I feel great. I look pretty good, trying to take better care of my bawdee (body said dramatically), eating better, majorly blessed. I was thinking, as usual, about this thing called life and all it’s many moving pieces.
Thinking about the stories my mom told me about when I was born. During pregnancy she fell. Off to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital – Camden NJ. She was about 6 ½ months pregnant with me, I decided I wanted out so I made my first appearance. The doctor told her I probably would not make it through the night. I weighed around 4 pounds. I had jaundice, a liver that was too small and many other medical issues. Medical technology was not what it is now. My mom said that the doctor stayed with me all night and she stayed up praying. I was a survivor then and I still am. God's hand was on me.
35 years later…I gave birth to 4 strong healthy children-by cesarean section at that, lived through many trials and hardships, missed meals, lived on food stamps and welfare, served my country, had many many jobs, lost everything in a flood, lived through domestic abuse, and had many metamorphoses. I AM A SURVIVOR, an over-comer, a conqueror; I have continued to exist in spite of the many adversities that have come in my life.
It seems I have had to fight to live ever since my first breath. Nothing has been given to me easily. I’ve been working since I was 14, a mother since I was 17 and it’s been a serious struggle but I finally got it now. After years of trying to succeed through people and things I know that the only success that I’ll have is through the hands of God. I thought it would be the people I connect to or the things I accumulate or income that would prosper me. These are vehicles but God is the source.
Now at 35 I have many friends and a wonderful family. My kids are the funniest, smartest, greatest children in the world. Even though I have so many people around me, I feel like I’m in an isolation phase. It’s not a bad phase. I know it’s preparation and fine tuning. I talk to God more now than before. I know it’s only temporary. I know it’s making me.
So many thoughts I don’t want to get jumbled or rambled. It’s just me admiring my emotional scenery…lol I am at peace. I want to move forward. I know I am destined to succeed. I am a queen, the beloved child of the King. I have generations coming after me that will need the things that I birth out, the strength I instill, the things I will produce.
On Tuesday I will be the Big 35. Three and one half decades. I’m trying to figure out why so many women dreaded getting to this age. Is this what middle age feels like??? Or is middle age 40? Whatever it is I’m proud of my age. I feel great. I look pretty good, trying to take better care of my bawdee (body said dramatically), eating better, majorly blessed. I was thinking, as usual, about this thing called life and all it’s many moving pieces.
Thinking about the stories my mom told me about when I was born. During pregnancy she fell. Off to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital – Camden NJ. She was about 6 ½ months pregnant with me, I decided I wanted out so I made my first appearance. The doctor told her I probably would not make it through the night. I weighed around 4 pounds. I had jaundice, a liver that was too small and many other medical issues. Medical technology was not what it is now. My mom said that the doctor stayed with me all night and she stayed up praying. I was a survivor then and I still am. God's hand was on me.
35 years later…I gave birth to 4 strong healthy children-by cesarean section at that, lived through many trials and hardships, missed meals, lived on food stamps and welfare, served my country, had many many jobs, lost everything in a flood, lived through domestic abuse, and had many metamorphoses. I AM A SURVIVOR, an over-comer, a conqueror; I have continued to exist in spite of the many adversities that have come in my life.
It seems I have had to fight to live ever since my first breath. Nothing has been given to me easily. I’ve been working since I was 14, a mother since I was 17 and it’s been a serious struggle but I finally got it now. After years of trying to succeed through people and things I know that the only success that I’ll have is through the hands of God. I thought it would be the people I connect to or the things I accumulate or income that would prosper me. These are vehicles but God is the source.
Now at 35 I have many friends and a wonderful family. My kids are the funniest, smartest, greatest children in the world. Even though I have so many people around me, I feel like I’m in an isolation phase. It’s not a bad phase. I know it’s preparation and fine tuning. I talk to God more now than before. I know it’s only temporary. I know it’s making me.
So many thoughts I don’t want to get jumbled or rambled. It’s just me admiring my emotional scenery…lol I am at peace. I want to move forward. I know I am destined to succeed. I am a queen, the beloved child of the King. I have generations coming after me that will need the things that I birth out, the strength I instill, the things I will produce.
I am so excited about what God has for me next, in this 35th year because I have grown from faith to trust. I trust Him and life is moving into the realm of where He created me to be. It’s on me and I’m on it....Happy Birthday To Me.
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